The recent news that the trial of the Israeli antiques dealer Oded Golan (left) over the 2002 James Ossuary hoax is in disarray, has once again highlighted the whole issue of relics and forgeries from the Holy Land.

According to an article by Nina Burleigh (author of Unholy Business: A True Tale of Faith, Greed and Forgery in the Holy Land) published in the LA Times on 29 November 2008, the “underfunded and understaffed Israeli Antiquities Authority — charged with policing the antiquities trade and protecting dig sites — is not up to the task of rooting out and exposing world-famous fakes.”

Secondly, Ms Burleigh remarks, “the Israeli legal system can’t be the last word on the authenticity of objects that have the potential to excite millions of faithful. All future finds with remarkable biblical connections emerging from the private market ought to be inspected by a team of disinterested experts from around the world before anyone calls a news conference.”

The trouble is, as she points out, in this field, “disinterested individuals are the rarest finds of all.”

The True Cross — Enough Pieces for a “Ship Load’

Take the “true cross” as a good example. This cross, the one on which Jesus was supposed to have been crucified, has been an object of fixation for Christians for centuries, and there are actually so many “pieces of the true cross” scattered throughout churches in Europe that the Protestant Reformer John Calvin (1509-1564) wrote that if all pieces were gathered together, they would form a good ship-load’ (Left: a piece of the true cross you can see in Paris).

Explanation: The Cross ˜Never Grows Smaller in Size’ !

Amazingly enough, the Catholic Encyclopedia actually concedes this, but explains the great multiplying pieces of the cross by quoting St. Paulinus who spoke of “the reintegration of the Cross”,– that it “never grew smaller in size, no matter how many pieces were detached from it”! [The Catholic Encyclopedia, Vol. 4, p. 524]

Jesus Did Not Eat Peter’s Fish

John Calvin talked a lot about the inconsistency of various relics of his day, mostly in his efforts to denigrate Catholicism. He pointed out that several churches claimed to have the Crown of Thorns; others claimed to have the water-pots used by Jesus in the miracle at Cana. Some of the wine was to be found at Orleans. Even a piece of fish that Peter allegedly offered to Jesus (obviously the offer was turned down) can be found in one of the churches, leading Calvin to remark that “It must have been wondrously well salted, if it has kept for such a long series of ages.”

Jesus’ Crib — Displayed For Nearly 1000 years

Other famous hoax relics included the “crib of Jesus” (left) which was exhibited every Christmas Eve at St. Mary Major’s in Rome (Catholic Encyclopedia) — until even they were forced to concede that it was a fake: “To take one example of the latter class, the boards of the Crib (Praesaepe) — a name which for much more than a thousand years has been associated, as now, with the basilica of Santa Maria Maggiore — can only be considered to be of doubtful origin.” In his monograph “Le memorie Liberiane dell’ Infanzia di N. S. Ges Cristo” (Rome, 1894), Mgr. Cozza Luzi frankly avows that all positive evidence for the authenticity of the relics of the Crib etc., is wanting before the eleventh century. Strangely enough, an inscription in Greek uncials of the eighth century is found on one of the boards, the inscription having nothing to do with the Crib but being apparently concerned with some commercial transaction. It is hard to explain its presence on the supposition that the relic is authentic” — Catholic Encyclopedia.

Several churches claimed to have the baby clothes of Jesus, and the Church of St. James in Rome displayed what was claimed to be the altar on which Jesus was placed when He was presented in the temple.

Jesus’ Four Foreskins

According to the Bible, Jesus was circumcised, in keeping with Jewish law (“On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise him, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he had been conceived” – Luke 2:21).

The specter of a Jesus foreskin was too much for the Christians to resist: the monks of Charroux were the first to claim to have it, and who, as a proof of its genuineness, declared that it yielded drops of blood [Calvin's Tracts, Vol. 1, pp. 296-304].

Actually, Jesus must have had a couple of penises, for his foreskin has been claimed by several churches, who coyly call it the “holy prepuce”, including a church at Coulombs, France, the Church of St. John in Rome, and the Church of Puy in Velay! [John P. Wilder: The Other Side of Rome, Grand Rapids, 1959, p. 54].

Donkey Bones, Vinegar Sponges, Cross Nails, Jesus’ Suckling Milk — the Litany of Lies Continues

Other famous (and increasingly ridiculous) relics include:

- Joseph’s carpenter tools;

- the bones of the donkey on which Jesus rode into Jerusalem;

- the cup used at the Last Supper;

- the empty (of course) purse of Judas;

- Pilate’s basin in which he washed his hands;

- the coat of purple thrown over Jesus by the mocking soldiers;

- the sponge lifted up to Jesus with vinegar while he was on the cross;

- numerous nails from the cross;

- a range of hair supposedly coming from Mary, some brown, some blond, some red, and some black;

- Mary’s skirts, wedding ring, slippers, veil, and,

- to top everything, even a bottle of the milk on which Jesus had been suckled [op cit, Wilder, p. 53].

Angels Flew Mary’s House to Italy

The Roman Catholic Church believes that the house in which Mary allegedly lived at Nazareth is now in the town of Loreto, Italy — having been transported there by angels. No, I am not making this up. Alongside is a painting of the event, and a picture from the actual house in Loreto.

With a completely straight face, the Catholic Encyclopedia explains it this way:

“Since the fifteenth century, and possibly even earlier, the ‘Holy House’ of Loreto has been numbered among the most famous shrines of Italy . . .  The interior measures only thirty-one feet by thirteen. An altar stands at one end beneath a statue, blackened with age, of the Virgin Mother and her Divine Infant, venerable throughout the world on account of the Divine mysteries accomplished in it. . . .  It is here that most holy Mary, Mother of God, was born; here that she was saluted by the Angel; here that the eternal Word was made Flesh. Angels conveyed this House from Palestine to the town Tersato in Illyria in the year of salvation 1291 in the pontificate of Nicholas IV. Three years later, in the beginning of the pontificate of Boniface VIII, it was carried again by the ministry of angels and placed in a wood, where, having changed its station thrice in the course of a year, at length, by the will of God, it took up its permanent position on this spot. That the traditions thus boldly proclaimed to the world have been fully sanctioned by the Holy See cannot for a moment remain in doubt. More than forty-seven popes have in various ways rendered honour to the shrine, and an immense number of Bulls and Briefs proclaim without qualification the identity of the Santa Casa di Loreto with the Holy House of Nazareth” [The Catholic Encyclopedia, Vol. 13, p. 454].

Note the assertion that this laughable concept — of angels flying Mary’s house from Palestine to Italy — is stated as absolute fact : “. . .cannot for a moment remain in doubt.”

Build with Relics or be Expelled, Church Orders

Not content with flying houses around the world, the Christian relic hunters then went to the final step: Bishops were forbidden by the second Nicaean Council in 787 to dedicate a building if no relics were present; the penalty for so doing was excommunication! [Will Durant: The Story of Civilization: Caesar and Christ, New York, 1944-1977, Vol. 6, p. 339].

Angel Gabriel’s Wing — Or was He an Ostrich?

Some of the bones that were at one time acclaimed as the bones of saints have been exposed as the bones of animals! In Spain, a cathedral once displayed what was said to be part of a wing of the angel Gabriel when he visited Mary. Upon investigation, however, it was found to be an ostrich feather! [Lorraine Boettner: Roman Catholicism, Philadelphia, 1962, p. 290].

Relics Are a Hoax

Faced with this barrage of nonsense and continuous exposures, the Catholic Encyclopedia itself was forced to acknowledge that many of these outrageously and obviously untruthful relics are fake:

“Many of the more ancient relics duly exhibited for veneration in the great sanctuaries of Christendom or even at Rome itself must now be pronounced to be either certainly spurious or open to grave suspicion. Difficulties might be urged against the supposed ‘column of the flagellation’ venerated at Rome in the Church of Santa Prassede and against many other famous relics” [The Catholic Encyclopaedia, Vol. 12, p. 737].

However, the Catholic Encyclopedia glibly declares that these relics are left alone because ‘no harm’ can come from allowing the cult of doubtful ancient relics to continue’ !

“… no dishonour is done to God by the continuance of an error which has been handed down in perfect good faith for many centuries. [...] Hence there is justification for the practice of the Holy See in allowing the cult of certain doubtful ancient relics to continue.”